A new business. With bonus material and bloopers and all. And you're right, I changed the title. Bit too presumptious. But if you want to find out more, got to learn Dutch first. Coz I tried in English, i really did, and it's just too much struggle. And hey i am lot smarter and wittier in my own language. So what i'll do; i'll just give it a go and juice it up with some Dutch whenever i am stuck. K?

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Swimming

As some of you know the Netherlands is called that way for a reason. A lot of our land once was water and if things are going the way Al Gore predicted, about 80% of it will become water again.

In order to be as fully prepared as one can be (and not to be counting heads all the time when in a pool) i want the kids to have their swimming certificates before anything else.

After some initial hesitations (read; 2 yrs of watching the boys walk on the bottom, laught with their friends, pull themselves forward on the rope separating the bath whenever the teacher wasnot watching them, in short doing anything but swimming) Morten and Timo are doing pretty ok.
It's a pity Robbert and i first had to get stomach ulcers out of frustation of the above mentioned 2 year period, both boys somehow saw the light, and got their A, B and C certificate in 6 months!

Alas Caroline is something different.
Like the boys, i registered her when she turned 4 and a couple of months later, she was on the top of the waitinglist and could enter.
Now let me explain.
There are 6 area's in the pool one has to conquer. Let's call them bath 1 to 6.
Bath 1 is the swallow place children are playing in.
bath 2 is the swallow bath they learn to float and sort of swim with corks on.
bath 3 is the real works (the deep) but still with corks
and you can pretty much say they start to swim in 4.
Then all of a sudden they speed up the process because in 5 they learn how to do breast and back strokes, they dive, swim with their clothes on and lay still in the water for 20 seconds (don't ask)
This is all you need to know for your A diploma and then for B and C they do the same, but then more, in bath 6.

With normal children, each bath takes about 12 weeks
With normal children it takes them about a year and a half for their first (A) diploma.

So.
When we saw just before the summer holiday this year, that Caroline was still in bath 1, we realized something was wrong. Even the boys were not that slow.
And it was (wrong).
Because she cried and didn't want to do the things the teachers asked, and because the teacher had to look after 10 - 15 other little wankers, Caroline was more or less left to herself and -not minding this one little bit- happily played herself through her 45 minute lesson.

Having waisted serious money on bath 1 we decided to chill for a couple of months and put her back on when she had turned 5.
Which was last Octobre.
And seriously I don't know what caused it but for all crying parents out there; there is hope.
For she started to do assignments at school.
She said goodmorning to the teacher (before i had to rip her from my legs and run out as fast as i could) and sat at her table.

But most important for this post; she started to seriously swim.
Well..... you could tell her intentions were good.
That's why about a month ago she progressed onto bath 2.

Now Robbert is not one for patience.
So 2 weeks ago he decided to take her (and her brothers) to the pool and help her out a bit.
When she came home she proudly declared she could float and swim on her back without corks on.
See. Robbert did remember she was in the shallow part.
But he forgot she still needed corks.
He did say he was a bit disappointed at her progression in the beginning but after about 10 minutes she got the hang of it and didn't sink anymore.

It gets even better.

These last days we have been away to a hotel in the middle of nowhere. (read East Nederland)
Where there was this pool.
But the pool didn't have a shallow childrens section.
So.
She can swim without corks in the deep now.


ps; Robbert can be booked for private lessons. Not particularly suited for feable-hearted children. Or parents.

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Friday, December 21, 2007

Hohoho


Yesterday, it was Christmas dinner for the kids at school and above you see the young masters Haas.
There was also a princess around in a pink (what else) Cinderella dress, but i'll show her another time. She was so excited about the whole evening that she didn't know what superlative term to use so she opted for ; O mommy this evening is just bigger than life good.
This night it snowed for the first time and as it has been below zero during nights for about a week now, it stayed on all the trees and plants and the country is simply stunningly beautiful. I have been all over, these last weeks, delivering christmas parcels and presents to clients and colleagues and it's really been a long time since i saw such a pretty Christmas like decor.
On another scale;
ever since Sinterklaas bought a poker game for Robbert we've got 3 poker men in the house who talk of full house, flushes and pairs as if they are ready for Vegas.
And if they don't poker they are on the nintendo talking about reaching the 6th gem and catching a very special Pokemon. I kid you not but i just asked him and Morten is in level 46.
It is totally beyond me.
However, i wish you all a merry merry Christmas and talk to you soon!

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Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Have I got news for you

Stolen from a television show;

you know what bothers Bush the most about the Iran report leaking out?

That he has to say "iranian uranium" in public.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Bob Marley

Sun is shinin', the weather is sweet;
Make you want to move your dancin' feet
To the rescue, here I am!
Want you to know, y'all, where I stand!
---
/Instrumental break/ ---
(Monday morning) Here I am!
Want you to know (Tuesday evening) just if you can
Where I stand.
(Wednesday morning) Tell myself a new day is risin';
(Thursday evening) get on the rise a new day is dawnin'.
(Friday morning) Here I am!
(Saturday evening) Want you to know just -
Want you to know just where I stand!

That's how i woke up.

Then this happened.

Saturday, Timo's birthday, 2 pm
Robbert was at the jeweler having his watch checked out.
Caroline had another birthday party and i brought her and Morten (who didn't want to stay at home with Timo) with the car.
2 minutes after i delivered her, i turned the car key. Not a sound.
Shit.
Let's try again.
Nothing. Nada. Noppes.
Shitterdeshit.
i called robberts cell phone.
about 300 times.

i tried the jeweler, but he had already left.

i tried home.
Timo was not very bothered and promised to let his dad call me as soon as he walked in.

Then Rachel texed me.
Was I interested to come over to her new apartment?
Not now honey.

Brainwave.
I called AAA.

The thing was i didn't have the card on me.
Nor an ID.

Woman on the other side giving me a lecture about the guy wanting my id or not helping me.
I decided to take my chances, run home, go the bathroom !!! get my id and run back to the car.
By the time i was at the house, Robbert arrived so Morten could stay there.

Back at the car.
Time passed by.
And by.
i got cold.
and time passed by.

The guy came.
fixed my battery in 1 minute and advised me to pass by a garage to have it checked.
Or i could drive for about 30 minutes to load it

but i was almost out of fuel.
and didn't have money on me.

so.
i drove home.
left the engine on and ran home .
yanked and yanked the doorbell.
robbert hadnot heard me coz he was on the rowing machine.
gave me some money and i ran back to the car.
we are talking 3.25 pm here.

sort of plenty of time.
caroline has to be picked up at the party at 4.45 because at 5.30 she has a judo exam.
at that very time timo has to be at his swimming trial exam.

i head on for the highway.
try to think how far i can go.
after exactly 30minutes show up at the pump.
turn of the engine hesitantly.
for a reason.

f*kkerthef*kf*kf*k.

The battery of my cell phone is getting alarmingly low.
i phone home.
tell robbert to take a walk to the swimming pool and leave the BMW for me coz i gathered by now the battery was a no go.

AAA again
we are talking 3.55.
They will do their utmost but cannot promise anything.
At 4,47 i start to panic.

another guy arrives at 5.
At 5.
and starts explaining.
about how he has talked to his collegue whom i met too.
How this colleague advised me to have my battery checked at a garage.
and how he was clearly right coz here i am standing again.

i kept it together.
but barely.
charge the battery please i grinded through my teeth.
and left in a blaze.
drove like mad, changed cars, got Carolines judobag, raced to the house where the party was, only to have the dad opening the door and say; hey, i thought you were picking her up early.

Put your shoes on honey, while i grab your coat i smiled.
back in the car robbert called.
Timo was halfway through his exam and doing fine.
You can still make it he said.
WHAT???
2 minutes ago she had to be in the exam room.

We are going to do something special honey i said.
Today you can change into your judo suit in the car and then we race upstairs when we are there.
I did.
upstairs put her hair in a ponytail and then realized she had a butterfly painted on her face.
One of the teachers came up.
Parents started giving me looks and i tried to keep my voice calm and relaxed.

Hi.
We've had some car trouble and she would reaaaaally appreciate doing her exam.
Could you give us our first break today?

If she would take the make up off, he would let her join the group.

Rushed over to the toilet. Got some paper and frantically removed the makeup.
So she still had a red face. Who cared? That became better during a couple of minutes so stop nagging.

She got her green slips.

Shoo be doop doop doop.

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Sinterklaas


As this is probably the last year we have nothing but believers, Sinterklaas was ordered to come by :)
Caroline sang a song, Timo did a magic tric, Melissa experienced the x-rated version of sinterklaas and everyone enjoyed himself tremendously.
As ever, the kids were overloaded and we have enough chocolate letters to last till Easter.
Right.
From there we do with eggs till Sinterklaas.
Old Dutch traditions.
We love 'm

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